Initiating Probal Defense Measures: The Destroy All Humans! Invasion Date is Set for July 28th, 2020 What follows is an incoming transmission originating from somewhere between Earth and Mars:
“Greetings, fleshy Earthbeings. Cryptosporidium here, though you skin-wrapped water wads can call me Crypto-137. I wanted to let you know that my Abducto Beam is finally ready and I’m journeying Earthwards right now. If my calculations are correct then P-Day – that’s Probe-Day to you mortal meat morsels – is set for July 28th, 2020. On that day I will officially Destroy All Humans! I’ll see you future-victims soon on PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One!” Destroy All Humans! has already been available for pre-order on PC, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One from your preferred retailer, and is now also available for pre-order digitally on PC and Xbox One. The SRP of the PC version is €29.99 / $29.99 / £24.99 / ₽1.529, and the SRP for consoles is €39.99 / $39.99 / £34.99 / ₽2.799 (PlayStation 4 and Xbox One). Pre-order Skins available via selected channels only! The Crypto-137 Edition, featuring a Crypto-137 figurine, a Crypto backpack, keychain, six lithographs, anti-stress toy and all in-game Crypto skins, all contained within a premium box, is available for pre-order now and has an SRP of €399.99 | $399.99 | £349.99 | seven tons of mutilated cow corpse juice’s worth of Crypto currency. The DNA Collector’s Edition, featuring a Crypto’N’Cow figurine, keychain, six lithographs, anti-stress toy, and all in-game Crypto skins, all contained within a premium box, is available for pre-order now and has an SRP of €149.99 | $149.99 | £139.99 | twelve charred human femurs’ worth of Crypto currency. |